Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
