can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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