oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Please, let me fuck your mom
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
