you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
