we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
