I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
