Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
