Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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