ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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