There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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