Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
