just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
