Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
