How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize