sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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