is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
