mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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