hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
