i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
