this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
