this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
