some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
