Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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