Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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