I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I could make wine with my vomit
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
