Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize