I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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