easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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