I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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