Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
