It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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