so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
