So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
