He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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