Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
