We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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