i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
