I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
