she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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