Having a random hookup so left but love u
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
