i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
