I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
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drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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