Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
