At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
