Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
