woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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