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dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
