youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Farmville is her only friend.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
