My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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