please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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