I want to make a zoo with you.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
