Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
