You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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