I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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