Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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