Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
