Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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