If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
