i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
