who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
