gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
