I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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