I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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